缘尽缘散

Specially to all my friends out there ...

Thank you for coming by this little cyberspace, over the last 3 years, for some random updates/rambling of mine.  It has been great having you here to share some of my life experiences & thoughts, despite only with the use of simple "Singlish" & not bombastic words of expression. 

I've decided to close off this blog, with effect from 3 Oct 2009, as this little outlet of mine has been seen as part of an evil plot, between some loud, scheming, evil & ill-mannered enigmas.  However, if one's conscience is clear, there's no fear. I strongly believed that TIME WILL TELL & hoping for TIME TO HEAL.

Worry not, friends!  I'll continue to live my life to the fullest & fulfill my role & responsibilities on earth.  After going through this shitty mess, hopefully, I'd pick up the courage to create another "space of mine" in the near future.  

Till we get connected again, TAKE CARE & SAYONARA !!

Cheers!
Jane         

Pain vs Gain ...

When one door of happiness closes, another opens.

However, we looked so long at the closed door  ... that we do not see the one which has been opened for us ...

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes.
In order to be freed, we must learn how to let go.
Release the hurt.
Release the fear.
Refuse to entertain your old pain.
The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.
What is it that you would let go of ???

Bird-Brain Lots ...

{One of the many, from Grand Master F}

Along the jetty I saw ... flock of feathers in the air they soar ...

The free bird leaps on the back of the wind & floats downstream, till the current ends & dips his wings … in the orange sun rays & dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down her narrow cage can seldom see through her bars of rage, her wings are clipped & her feet are tied … so she opens her throat to sing & sigh.

The caged bird sings with fearful trill of the things unknown but longed for still & her tune is heard … on the distant hill for the caged bird, sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze & the trade winds soft through the sighing trees, & the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn & he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams, her shadow shouts on a nightmare scream. Her wings are clipped & her feet are tied so she opens her throat to sing & sigh.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and her tune is heard, on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom, her freedom that never will.

{This is the greatest humiliation, ever ... and shall etched in one's heart, in decades to come ... 23 May ~ 14 Sept 2009}

Happy Mother's Day 2009

Happy Mother's Day to my mum, mother-in-law (in HK) & myself too ... though I'm still feeling down & moody, due to a couple of personal reasons ** sigh **

For documentation purpose, I've decided to do a simple post on what I've received from R1 this year. It's a handmade fabric carnation, which she bought from her school's bookshop. As usual, she got 1 stalk for me & 1 stalk for granny ... THANK YOU, Kei Kei !!

As for R2, NOTHING from him this year. I wondered how come his kindergarten teacher didn't plan for little surprises for the mummies this year ??

Anyway, I'm blessed with a pair of healthy kids ... what more can a mother ask for ??

NO Internet Connection @ Home

Sorry friends, I don't mean to "wash our dirty laundry" openly here ... but I really need some outlet to voice out my discontentment. Hence, please bear with me ...

*A* & I are having a cold war since 17 Mar 2008, due to some housing/room-sharing issues. But this has worsened over these 2 months ... and evolved into a "yours & mine" attitude lately.

As he's paying for the monthly Starhub Broadband at home ... it's being locked against any authorised usage (only he can enjoy it, sharks!).

So, 2 pathetic souls (ha ha ha ... namely, Sis *J* & myself) are sitting at the nearby National Library right now ... surfing net & blogging, while R1 is reading as many story books as she can.

Luckily, I still have access to the internet to surf/blog/MSN during normal office hours :) However, this affects my Sis *J* the most as she can't do her school project at home :(

Where's My Adhesives ???

It's a long weekend here in Singapore ... as next Monday is a gazetted public holiday (i.e. Vesak Day) = NO WORK !! .... Yippppeeeee !!

Having 3 full days of free time on hand, plus a rather "stay-at-home" mood but I've got nothing much that I'd love to do ... what a waste !!

So, as usual, I hopped around those scrapbooking blogs for the whole afternoon & I'm inspired to start scrapping all over again (after an extremely long break).

For a quick start, I think this Pencil Lines site will be able to help me to get the ball rolling ... but hold on, where's my acid-free adhesives ?!?! and where's my 12 x 12 trimmer ?!?! ** alamak !! **

Here I go again, giving myself silly & lame excuse of ... "It'll be much easier to start with; after I do some scrapbooking shopping to get my hands on some "latest & greatest" products." ... ha ha ha

4th Day of Work

Work saves us from three great evils:

Boredom, Vice & Need.

~ Voltaire

Today, is my 4th day of work ... on the other hand, it's also *Jennifer's* last day of work with the organization.

I've been trying very hard to "master" her duties & responsibilities within such a short time-frame. And I just hope that I can perform just as good as her (cos it's human nature to make comparisons). ** aiyoh ... it's making me so stressed up **

However, I just wanna wish *Jennifer* all the best in her future endeavour and thank her for everything !!

{ This will definitely liven up my work space }

S-P-L-U-R-G-E

One more LV for me please ...

This Louis Vuitton handbag has been on my Wish List since it's first launch last year.

Look, I've finally got my hands on it today !!! ... Yipppeeeeee ...

This afternoon, I managed to convince myself to splurge on it ... as I needed a new bag for my new job, which is commencing on 28 Apr 2008. Oh no, I think it's a pretty lame excuse to use ... isn't it ??? But whatever it is, I don't care ... as it really feels good to spoil myself once in awhile. ** wink **

Anyway, who says WE (i.e. women) need any reasons/excuses to go shopping & indulge ourselves with little gifts to make ourselves happier ??? ... LOL

What Am I Waiting For ???

I've mentioned in my previous post that I've an opportunity knocking on my door lately ... yeah, I've decided to seize it !!!

Well, actually it's a job opportunity offered by my ex-company (which I worked for merely a month). As I got along quite well with those colleagues there, so right now, they are offering me a post which is totally different from what I used to do as a HR personnel ... a CEO's SECRETARY.

I've no formal secretarial experience, but I'm pretty surprised that my boss-to-be is willing to train me up & fill the gap. So, my friends were asking me : "Then what are you waiting for ??"

Hence, needless to say, I'm going for it !!! ... & hopefully everything will go well for me this time. ** keeping my fingers crossed **

On the other hand, I'll have to forgo my upcoming fully-sponsored trip to Beijing in May 2008. ** weep, weep, weep **

Philosophy of Life

"人生路漫漫 , 山水有相逢" ... ... NC will always remind me of this statement when it comes to handling people & relationships.

In fact, he's indirectly telling me to give some leeway to others now, as there may be a time when their help will come in handy in the future.

This is just his "2 cents", but true enough, it works !!! ... An opportunity is now knocking on my door !!!

The Perfect Recipe

I chanced upon this short & sweet message today & thought of sharing ...

The Perfect Recipe

Ingredients:
(1) Find time to spend with your family
(2) Learn to love one another
(3) Compliment rather than complain

Baking Instructions:
Step 1 :
Add (1) into your daily schedule.

Step 2 :
Stir (2) and (3) together.

Step 3 :
Icing the cake with hugs & kisses is highly recommended.

Step 4 :
Serve to your whole family !

Goodbye ... (once again)

{ I'm blogging at the break of dawn ... while waiting for NC to call me from Singapore Changi Airport. }

Just came back from supper with NC & *JS*, can't get to sleep as I'm waiting for him to call me before he board the plane back to China ... Yes! he's going back there AGAIN for work.

Guess what ???

While NC is packing his luggage earlier, he walked over (out of nowhere), stood in front of me, held my hands & said "I can't bear to leave you." .... Ohhh ... I'm on cloud nine !!! Really didn't expect him to say this to me.

We've spent a total of 56 days together (from 4 Feb 08 till today; including 29 Feb - Leap Year) ... ha ha ha ... it's the longest period of time ever since Year 2003 !!! ... I'm starting to miss him too, but I'll be flying over to China in a couple of weeks' time ... till then, take care NC !!!

Some shots taken earlier with the kids before their bedtime ...
can you tell that they were tired & grouchy ??

I Surrendered

I'm feeling relieved today, as it's my last day with Altus Group ... hmmmm ... well, I've decided to stop trying and surrender.

In fact, I've made this decision on 14 Feb 2008 and my superior even asked me why am I giving him such a big Valentine's Day present (ie. my resignation letter) ... ha ha ha

However, I'll definitely miss those fun-loving & helpful colleagues of mine.

Happy Birthday To Mum & *Apple*

TODAY = my dearest mum as well as my best friend's birthday ... and I remembered saying these every year ...

"Happy Birthday To Both,

Happy Birthday To Both of U !!!"

Anyway, my Bro *A* has taken the initiative to book a table @ Tung Lok Restaurant - The Arena Country Club this evening, for a family dinner to celebrate my mum's 59th birthday.

In fact, we used to arrange for such dinner on everyone's birthday in the past. But ever since NC is travelling more & more over the years, this little family tradition of ours has been tentatively discontinued ...

However, I managed to snap some shots during our dinner ... so as to prove how happy my mum was earlier :D

4th Day of New Year

Time flies, flies, flies ... today is already the 4th day into the Lunar Year of Rat.

For the past 3 days, we've been busy going around visiting relatives & friends, giving out & receiving "Ang Baos" and of coz, loads of catching up {as we hardly meetup these old friends since NC is not in town for most of the time}.

I only managed to snap a few pics, here & there ... coz I find it a hassle to lug my camera along *LOL*

Here you go, something to share ... ...

"Gong Xi Fa Cai ! ... Hong Bao Na Lai !"

Mass "Lo Hei" - meaning "tossing up good fortune".

"Wanna have some ??"

*Sigh*, *sigh*, *sigh* ... after having a great time this CNY holiday ... I gotta go back to work tomorrow & there's more work, work & work waiting for me.

On top of that, NC will be going back to China for business again ... and I wonder when is he coming back home again ??? :(

::: Gong Xi Fa Cai :::

Wishing all my dearest friends out there,

新年快樂 ,

身体健康 ,

万事如意 !

Energizer Bunny ... Keep Going !!!

A sincere thanks to my dear friends ... *Apple*, *FS* & *Ed* for all your kind words & encouragement today.

Don't worry, I shall adopt the Energizer Bunny's "Keep Going & Never Say Die spirit" ... ha ha ha.

1st Day of Work

Yesterday was my 1st day of work ... hmmmm ... I really don't know how to express my mixed feelings in words right now.

In summary, there isn't any HR personnel/dept in this organization for the past 18 yrs of their business. Therefore, needless to say, there's no proper documentation, filing, payroll system at all.

On top of that, this organization is expanding (by way of merger &/or acquisition). As such, there are a number of smaller subsidiaries (both locally & overseas) with their own Compensation & Benefits packages, their own set of working guidelines, etc ... it seems very "messy" & out of control to me. As a parent company's HR personnel, all these will become part of my job & responsibilities ... sigh, sigh, sigh ...

After a short meeting with the organization's CEO yesterday, I kept pondering over issues like, Can I manage this post (after 7 yrs of gap)? Can I perform up to the CEO's expectations? Am I doubting my own abilities? Did I make a wrong choice? (should have opted for the one "up on the mountain"?) ... ...

Apart from that, I missed my kids right after lunchtime ... and I quickly made a call back home to chat with my little R2 for awhile. The next moment, I started to countdown till 5.30pm ;)

I'm in a dilemma right now ... should I take on this challenge or should I just get a stress-free part-time job to pass time (as I've plans to venture into another business real soon) ???

Back to Work

Whoo-hoo !!! ... After 7 years of running my own &/or hubby's businesses, I thought I could never be a "9 to 5 OL" again.

However, I managed to get 3 job offers this week after struggling thru' a total of 4 interviews altogether ... Lady Luck is watching over me these days, thanks !!

To be honest, I hate going for interviews as most HR Managers will "bombard" us with all sort of questions. On top of that, as a job seeker, you will have to sell/promote yourself to the hiring manager ... it's a sickening task which I hate most!

Nevertheless, I've accepted a job offer which expects me to commerce work on 1 Feb 2008.

I took up said offer after much consideration on issues like travelling time, working hours, overtime requirements, learning opportunities, etc. Coz my main focus will still have to be on my 2 kids, and I don't want said job to take up too much of my time.

I just hope that everything will goes well for me ...

Missing In Action ...

A quick glance at this blog of mine, made me realised that I've not been updating it for almost 2.5 weeks ... hmmmm .... some of you might be wondering why am I missing in action again ??? (ha ha ha)

Time really flies, and here's a summary of what I've been busy with for the past half a month ...

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

12 Jan 2008 : Jazzscraps was here in Singapore with her hubby for a short scrapbooking-shopping trip ... ohhhhh ... I'm green with envy :)

Despite her super tight itinerary, Detha and I managed to meet up with her over dinner at Tambuah Mas Indonesian Restaurant. Our talking point for the whole dinner session was none other than SCRAPBOOKING !!! Simply fun !!!

Jazzscraps and I didn't see each other since her previous trip to Singapore in Year 2006, however, we still update each other thru' our blogs as well as Google Chat.

Anyway, see YOU again in June !!!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

16 Jan 2008 : Received a SMS for another dinner get-together session with a group of ex-colleagues (back in Year 1999). It was an evening full of eating & non-stop talking although there were only 4 of us ... indulging in reminiscence of the great old times working together.

Not forgetting to thank BH for her dinner treat at Swensen's :p

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Besides that, I've been running around sending/fetching R1 & R2 to tuition & enrichment classes ... 6 days in a week.

I'm also trying my very best to coach R1 in her schoolwork on a daily basis, without me throwing my temper at her (this is the reason why I'd rather engage a tuition teacher for her).

Other than my kids, I'm also in the midst of hunting for a full-time job. With CNY just around the corner, there's also loads of spring-cleaning & shopping to do ... busy, busy, busy, busy ... is the only word that I can think of now.